So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
