i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize