My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
