You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
