If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
