I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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