Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
