Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
