It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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