DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
God I need to hump something, right now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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