Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
