I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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