I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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