I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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