I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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