I'm going to jail i love you
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
