Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
