She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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