on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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