Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
