eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Who died my cat blue again?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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