the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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