Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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