i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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