Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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