is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Randomize
