thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
