I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
