i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
