I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
