I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i drank out of a bidet.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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