No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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