we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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