Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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