im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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