okay pat passed out under dana's car
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
