They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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