woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
