you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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