hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
