shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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