he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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