Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
