my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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