I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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