Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize