How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
