Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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