I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
