Do vagina's smell?
Too much gin, very little bucket
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize