That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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