didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize