I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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