I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
