Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
