Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
