i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
