fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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