we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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