Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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