just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
