FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
