i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
