people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just invented taco cereal.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize