direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
