Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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